I am quite disturbed by the fact that I don't care much.

Previously Minsee and I were discussing about the SIA girl question that some people answered for mass comm, and I told her honestly I don't really care about the SIA girl and whatever happens to her. Then just this afternoon Sook was telling me about gay rights, death penalty etc etc when I told her I wouldn't know how to answer such questions because I truly don't care.

Which is quite scary come to think of it, because I don't want to be an apathetic teen. As in, I do read newspapers and stuff to keep me updated about the world around me, but whatever happens don't have a huge impact on me. I don't sit down and really think deeply about the issues, it's more of a read-and-forget-about-it kind of thing. Sometimes I will ask myself, "So what's the big deal about this anyway?" and this frightens me because common sense tells me there is The Big Deal, but I just can't see it no matter how hard I try.

I dunno why am I like that, is it because I'm immature in thinking? Because I'm too happy a person? This is quite frustrating you know, seeing how I'm heading the Big Two in 2 years' time and I still don't quite give a damn about the society I'm living in.

I will read the newspapers everyday (not only Life! which is what I only read in the past), and force myself to think. One bad thing about not going to school anymore is that somehow I lost the ability to think in the GP/Econs/Lit-essay-writing-way. Which is why I don't mind going back to school again, to get my brain working. Not to mention I can slack during weekends, public holidays and school holidays. Heh. Working life sucks.

Honestly I don't think I did my best for the interviews, half the time I was just crapping. Partly because I didn't prepare well? But the questions caught me off guard. Well, if I get selected, it will be one big miracle.